Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
