I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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