I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
