She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
