Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
