sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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