You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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