so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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