More tranny stories later!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
