After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
