Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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