I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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