Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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