never play flip cup with pint glasses
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
