im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
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