State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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