this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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