If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
