Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
if only i could text you this smell
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
