I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
