Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wanna passion pit in your ass
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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