hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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