apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
