Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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