Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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