In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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