If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
