if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
