We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
