Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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