She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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