Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
