its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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