i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
my poor anus
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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