So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
