In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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