I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize