Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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