I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
