You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
