I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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