One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
