dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
