I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
