I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
