so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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