Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
