Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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