Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
