As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
