Where are you?
In a non slutty way
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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