oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
