Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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