You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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