There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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