It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
