Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
