nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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