im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
