I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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