What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
